Identity: Being Plastic Gets You Nowhere

 Being Plastic Gets You Nowhere.
       “I've grown certain that the root of all fear is that we've been forced to deny who we are.” -Francis Moore Lappe


    Not being an outcast within the high school world has become an overwhelming challenge to many high school students. Whether it’s fitting in with the jocks, preps, metal-heads, or braniacs, every student yearns for a place to fit in.  Each high school clique has its “Queen Bee” and satisfying him or her can make a student’s life a living hell. High school is a time for broken hearts, making friends, and self exploration. It is the time when people begin to discover who they are. A vast number of students miss out on self exploration because they are stuck in a rut of appeasing the Queen Bee. Since there is commonly a fear of being an outsider amongst social groups, there comes to be a comfort in conforming. Breaking this mold of conforming is one of the greatest obstacles when it comes to creating and developing a strong sense of one’s self and identity, since everyone is an individual and should not be concerned about pleasing others, but pleasing themselves so they are able to begin figuring out what makes them a unique person.

   No one wants to be the oddity in a group. This is shown clearly through different crowds and their “dress codes.” Dressing similar to others for the sake of fitting in has become so prominent in high school culture, that the internet has various pages about how to dress in certain ways. eHow.com: How to Dress Goth, Hip-Hop, Emo and Preppy, (Remix 23) provides detailed guidelines to dressing in each specific style, so anyone that wants to dress within a defined style group,  are able to without hassle thanks to websites like eHow. When wearing the same style as others, one may feel as though they are part of that particular group, and have entered a comfort zone. The group is a security blanket.  Even if “you are happy in your comfort zone, you need to get out of it; how else can you find the greatness that lies within you?”   (Find The Greatness within Yourself, Donald Trump, 242) Even if someone feels as if they have found their “comfort zone” it’s not always a good thing. It is a type of settling in a way, especially when you choose this comfort zone just for the sake of having a group of people you can fit into.


    We have all seen the symbolic school fight, whether in film or real life. One against one; prep versus nerd; punk versus skin; jock versus goth. The background to these fights usually consists of rowdy students, filled to the brim with adrenaline, shouting in chorus, “FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!”  Why is it that, in most cases, no one will say a word? It all comes down to the Queen Bee. Nobody wants to illustrate to the leader of their group that they care about the outcast. Because of this, “there is little sympathy from witnesses to stand up and defend the outcast, for fear of falling out with the Queen Bee, being rejected and potentially being the next victim.”  (FOUND: Wikipedia.org:. 17) Even if the witness disagrees with the fight at hand, fear of the Queen Bee will typically keep the witness at bay.


    The act of bystanders ignoring a fight is not the only way people choose to please the Queen Bee. There are much more personal and upfront ways that people do this. Heartless and crude remarks can be heard echoing throughout high school hallways.  Phrases such as “What a whore,” are common in the world of high school. Such mockery was endured by Lucy Grealy of “Masks” while she was in high school.  Even after crude remarks like, “that is the ugliest girl I have ever seen,”  (Masks: 69) Grealy still assumed that “in her heart that their comments had nothing to do with her, that it was about them appearing tough and cool to their friends.” (Masks: 69) Bringing down the “outcast” can bring many people a feeling of supremacy, and being urged on by the group may bring this level of power up. Knowing that the friends of the attacker are laughing along with whatever crude remarks may be said, is a signal to the attacker that they are pleasing the group, and brings comfort.


    As if finding a group to fit into during high school isn’t hard enough, many students also must deal with what their parents want for them. The pressures of pleasing one’s parents can be a distressing challenge. Our society has become fixated on the idea that students must go to college, the more top-notch the better, even if college is not for them. It’s almost as if going to college has become a trendy fad in our culture. While all parents wish for their children to succeed, it should not make them push their child to their absolute limits.“Sometimes from as early as their toddler years, millions of students are raised to believe that there is nothing more important than success, and nothing that reflects that access than admittance to a top-tier college.” (The Overachievers: 251) Given that kids are different from their parents in various ways, in order to start creating an identity, students must decide what they want out of life. Attending a first-class college after high school is not for everyone.


    A vast number of people are naturally people pleasers, and will sometimes go through great lengths to satisfy people. This is a problem in our culture, as it stops people from doing what they like. This begins a complicated expedition of self-discovery and identity because people are not learning what satisfies them, but what satisfies others.  Breaking the mold of pleasing others before pleasing yourself is the greatest obstacle when it comes to creating your own identity. Until people are able to comprehend that your identity is your own and no one else’s, and break the mold of conformity, a strong sense of identity will not be able to be found.