Communities: Where Do I Belong?

     Communities: Where Do I Belong?
    The word “community” is no longer safely secured to meaning where one lives. The statement has taken on a much more personal sense. There are several different types of communities; virtually any pastime or interest someone has can be nourished and developed through a community. The need to belong is prominent in our culture today. The function of a community is to satisfy this desperate desire to fit in with others that share the same interests and hobbies as us.


    Although the number of communities in our world is staggering, one is sure to find a community that suits them well. Everyone wants to be a part of something, and “we seek out communities of people that share our interests and who will accept us without trying to change us.” (103) Being able to belong to a community where everyone shares the same likes and interests is a must for our human needs. Online communities are increasing in numbers. “Where we were once limited by our geography, today people use websites to seek out communities that understand and accept them.” (103)   It is not always easy to find another that has the same interests, especially if it is one as treacherous as eating disorders, but even eating disorders is an interest. In Mim Udovitich’s, “A Secret Society of the Starving,” Udovitich interviews a girl named Claire, “the name she uses on websites that are the fulcrum of the pro-ana community.” (150) Claire explains to Udovitich that what she enjoys about the online sites is that, “at the end of the day, I can go online and talk to them and they know exactly what I’m going through and how I feel, and I don’t have to worry about them judging me for how I feel.” (151). The online community of pro-ana, pro-mia, and pro-E.D, is a place where Claire feels she is accepted, since all the others share the same fascination with eating disorders. This is the purpose of a community; to find a place where others will accept you and your interests, no matter what that interest is.


    Communities are not limited to the online world. For instance, in “Befriending Barbie,” by Shari Caudron, Caudron visit’s a Barbie convention, a place for numerous people to share in their pastime of Barbie collecting. Debbie Baker, “the co-chair of the National Barbie Collectors Convention,” tells Caudron that “a thousand men and women from all over the world have converged here for four days of doll shopping, workshops, and social events.” (168) The Barbie community, just like any other community, is one where those who share matching interests can gather and talk to each other about their attraction with Barbies and collecting them.


    In David Berreby’s, “It Takes a Tribe,” Berreby states, “We want to live in tribes… [people] are looking to be told what group they belong to. And then once they do that, they want to know ‘What are the rules?” (129).  Once a community is found where one can feel as though he or she is accepted, definite rules must be followed if they want to continue being a part of this community. Take fraternities and sororities, for instance. There are several initiation rituals and rules that must be followed. Tom Hayden in, “It Takes a Tribe,” proclaims, “As a junior, I was tapped for the Druids, which involved a two-day ritual that included being stripped to my underpants, being pelted with eggs, smeared with red dye, and tied to a campus tree.” (122). This is an example of the great lengths one will go through in order to fit in with a certain crowd or community. As humans, we all yearn for a sense of belonging, and once we discover this belonging, many of us will do whatever it takes to keep it.


    The purpose of communities has not been altered or changed very considerably throughout the years. Although there are several new types of communities in our world today, the overall function has not transformed. After speaking with my father about the matter, I realized that communities have always been a way to connect with others and to find a sense of belonging. Despite the fact that the communities that I select to be a part of (i.e.; going to shows, various internet sites) are different from those that my father chose to associate himself with, (i.e.: fishing, sports) the function had not changed. Communities, even thirty years ago, quenched our thirst for belonging.
  
    Whether it’s following rules, like the “Thin Commandments,” on pro-ED sites, or following the guidelines of an Amish community, every person craves a sense of belonging. This sense of belonging can be found through communities. “The sole purpose [of a community] is to serve the individual.”(103) Without a community to be a part of, individuals would more than likely lack this feeling of belonging. The function of a community is to satisfy an individual’s need to fit in and discover this sense of belonging.